“Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns
jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a
town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not
know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life like? For you are a mist that
appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord
wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All
such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it,
for him it is sin.”
James 4:5, 13-17 ESV
““Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be
exalted in the earth!””
Psalm 46:10 ESV
I have many regrets in this life. If I could turn back the clock, I would. Here’s just
one. My dad worked long hours to make sure his family had everything they desired.
He did it out of love for his family. I rarely saw him when I was a child because
he was always working. When I became an adult, I did the same thing. I worked
and went to University. I ran from one place to the next. I had three children. I
learned from my dad that setting goals and working like a dog was what a good
dad did. I couldn’t go to the playground with my kids because I worked. I
couldn’t go to the recital because I needed to work. I would run like a rat in a wheel
to bring in the bacon. God? Hey, if I don’t have time with my kids, how can I
have time with God? Mom and dad? Hey, forget it, I’ve got to run to that next
shift. The only ones happy were the nice folks at Revenue Canada every tax year.
I can envision them doing the high five every year I filed my taxes.
The Bible says you reap what you sow. I didn’t spend quality time with my dad
until he was old and dying of cancer. His last years were special times but short.
He was too sick for him and me to do anything special together. We talked at his
home often in his final years. My kids? Well, our relationship is shallow. The
bonding time between parents and children peaks when they are small and I
was too busy running to work to make the bacon. The money I made? Gone. It’s
ended up with divorce lawyers.
I was a fool. Here I am running for stuff that leads to nothing.
God? He used to be the last of the last on my list. I was too busy making hay. I
was an empty runner losing relationships all around me including God. I never
knew Him and He never knew me. I departed from Him of my own free will.
I was a fool.
Today, God is top of my list. I don’t care about worldly stuff anymore. I am
now still. I spend every day with Him. Do you know what’s really crazy? I actually
make four times more money doing what I do now having three disabled guys in
my home with plenty of time to focus on God. Running like a racehorse trying
to get first prize lead to last place. What’s even crazier is I don’t care about
the money I make whatsoever. It just follows me and who cares? If I had nothing
tomorrow, I have Jesus and that’s plenty. After God, I try to rebuild my
relationships with my kids. The results are slow but steady. I spend quality time
with my mom.
You see, God tells us all this in the Bible but I didn’t read or listen. He yearned
for me and I was too busy running for nothing. My kids yearned for me and I was
running blindly thinking I was doing the right thing. My world has completely
changed. Thank you, LORD, for finally opening my blind, swollen-shut eyes. by Kent Brosh a Kawaiaha’o Blog Contributor